You know what’s the saddest thing when I go to hospitals?
When they asked me
“sino kasama mo?”
“bakit wala ka kasama?”
Deep inside i just want to cry. I want to run.
Narealize ko ngayon lang na hindi ako takot mag ask ng help sa others however the hardest thing was the rejection when i asked for help.
“busy ako”
“may pasok ako”
“kakaoff ko lang ng work sorry beh”
“sorry be malayo ako di kita masasamahan pero im here for u”
I hate it. I fucking hate it. I dont like it. I will misunderstood it. I will cry for it. I will overthink it. And i will be on my self pity state when that happen to me again.
I am prone on “self pity” stage. That’s my fucking weakness. I tend to self pity on everything.
So sad. I wanna die. But I dont want to die on hospitals. I dont like going on hospitals. I fucking dont like going there. That’s the first place i dont want to visit.
